Relationship Talks



You are considering a relationship, have you thought about the reasons and purpose why you need to be in a relationship?
Being in a relationship is good. Life is more beautiful when you have someone to share the moment with; someone you can confide in, someone to stand by your side both in good and in bad times. Yet, going into a relationship is not something to rush into.

Before thinking of needing someone, you should have a reason why you need the person. Relationship isn’t something to be done out of purpose. Just as how other life decisions need to be ponder on before you execute them, that’s how it should be when you are thinking about being in a relationship.

Relationship has to do with the heart, and the heart in our body is a vital organ that controls the activities of the entire body. Once the heart stop functioning that means there’s no longer life; that’s how crucial it should be when you think of being in a relationship it’s something to be given lots of thought and considerations.


There are so many reasons one can think of to consider being in a relationship, though some maybe good while some may not.
In general, the purpose of being in a relationship is to create a connection that will last long and/or forever; It is to create an atmosphere of love that will lead to a happy ending, to develop and to build each other.
After you have thought about your reasons and it does not support the creation of healthy connection and beauties; if there be any benefits it should be mutual, if it isn’t then it isn’t a good reason to be in a relationship.
For example, being in a relationship because you don’t want to be lonely; not only is this a selfish reason, the chance of creating lasting relationship is low but when you want to be in a relationship with a person because that’s what your heart wants, you willingly want to share love with the person and you also feel that both of you can build something together then it is a good reason to be in a relationship with the person and there is a chance of creating a healthy relationship that will lead to something beautiful.

To this, the reasons to be in a relationship can be:

  1. Good reasons
  2. Not good reasons

GOOD REASONS: these are reasons that are genuine and very friendly not only to you but also to the person you are intending to be in a relationship with.

Some of which are:

  • To have a family: being in a relationship with someone to start a family and make babies is a good reason. Family is what makes a society. It’s important for the continuity of human existence. Almost everybody wants their own family. In short, having a family is the ultimate goal in every relationship.
  • To heal and grow: we discover what we are lacking, what we need and what is unhealed in us when we are with someone. Relating with people is the best way to learn, grow and heal. Relationship is the safest place where we can develop ourselves in areas that needs development because everything is wrap with love and you are not seen the same way as others.
    So if the person can heal your heart, if you see the person as someone you can grow with it’s a good reason to be in relationship with the person it shows the both of you are compatible.
  • To be complete: life becomes more meaningful when you are with someone that completes you. It helps you to build your confidence, it makes you happy; for you to feel complete with the person it shows that the person cares for you. This is a good reason to be in relationship with the person because relationship is about care.
    It also shows you are with the right person and when you’re with the right person you are happy and happiness is one of the attributes of a good relationship.
  • To share love: some people understand what it feels like to be loved by someone. You just want to love the person unconditionally, you just want them to be part of your life. If you have thought about this, it is a good reason to be in a relationship and there’s a greater chance of creating a perfect relationship especially when the person feels the same way as you do. Relationship is about giving. It’s about sharing love and care not only getting.

NOT GOOD REASONS: these are reasons which may likely not support or help the relationship to grow. It can be seen as a selfish reason to be in a relationship.

It may include:

  • To be taken care of: going into a relationship because you want someone to take care of you financially, emotionally and/or sexually shows that you are not truly in love with the person, you simply want to be with the person because of what you will benefit from them.
    This is not a good reason to be in a relationship because when those things that attracted you to them is no longer there it may be the end of the relationship since that’s your reason of being with them in the beginning.
    In other words, there’s no chance of creating a lasting relationship. In as much as you deceive the person, you also denied yourself the opportunity to know what true affection is like.
  • Fear of being alone: accepting or being in a relationship because you are afraid to be alone maybe in the night or any other case; though we feel more safe when we are with someone it should not be a reason to be in a relationship with someone.
    Being in a relationship because you feel safe when you are with them is totally different from accepting a partner because you fear of being alone.

Relationship is about sharing love, commitment and mutuality. It’s not something to be selfish about, that way it’s not healthy.
Your mindset towards relationship shouldn’t be about what you will get or gain but what you can offer and share.

You can’t give what you don’t have, so you have to love yourself, fill your heart with love and happiness, take responsibilities of your happiness and welfare that way you have love and care to extend and you can take responsibilities for your partner as well.

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